Sunday Musing || When It feels Like God's On Leave

“Rejoice in the Lord always.” Philippians 4:4

Through the above quoted five words, God shows us that internal joy cannot be tied to external circumstances. When one is unemployed, when flaws are exposed, and when most meaningful relationships were broken or dysfunctional, God reminds us that joy in the Lord is still possible.

God does not cruelly tell us to put a smile on our face no matter the pain in our hearts. Rather, Philippians 4:4 reminds us that no matter what is happening around us, we can still have immense joy because God, not our circumstances, is the source of all joy.

“Rejoice no matter what” and “Rejoice in the Lord always” are two very different imperatives. God never tells us simply to rejoice no matter what. He tells us to rejoice in him no matter what.

Yet,

There are times when the soul feels alienated from the Giver of life and a son feels like a bastard orphan, poor and depressed. Philippians 4:4 loses it's meaning. No joy. Not even in the Lord.

You long for warmth - the warmth of His embrace - but get scorched by the son of doubts.

You yearn for the dew of heaven but the torrents that follow your wish leaves you drenched, cold and craving for same warmth that never seem to come.

You crave for His presence but silence mocks still. You wonder... 'is the ancient of days on leave?'. I was there, and below is piece in despair inked. A song.

When It feels Like God's On Leave

When by my hearth of solitude, I sit

seeking solace and solitude

When hateful thoughts surround my heart

and gloom mask my smiles.

When no fair dreams teach nightmares how to ignore my sleep

the yearning of my heart daily like a deer dire for water

I seek your face, but eerie silence grins at me

When no balm on my wounds spread

When no one my solemn sighs comprehend

When like rain, poisonous thoughts drop on my head

When even your Word that once was my refuge strong

makes my soul sick, sad, sour, I call on your name

but my voice fails the echo fades

Whenever I wander at the wake of night

into the moonlit paths of weary lights

or I look up the sky in search for the sun;

Whenever I remember my favourite song

and sigh all the way each verse long,

please, remember I need you smile on my frown

and chase depression away.

Cheer my soul

with the fragrance of your grace

Speak sweetly Father, oh Father,

Lift your hands and touch my wounded soul

Sprint me nearer,

no... not farther

Spread some balm on my burning sole

lead me through this fire now...

now!

#Pengician #SSA

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